1novels Chapter 1247
Chapter 1247
May you have a dream to chase, a clear conscience when you wake up from your dream, and don't let your life regret it.
"Dad, how many times do you need me to say it before you can understand the meaning of every word I said? I never thought of leaving this house, let alone abandoning you. I did All of these are just final decisions that are forced to be made. Can you think about it from my perspective, has it been easy for me these years?
You always say how painful and uncomfortable you have been through these years, can it be that my life is not uncomfortable or tormented? But what kind of ending did I get in the end? Have you experienced it from my standpoint? How much pain I have, who among you can understand a little bit?
You always feel that as long as I do something wrong, it is an unforgivable crime. I have no way to get your forgiveness. I tell myself again and again in the depths of my heart, no matter what I did at the beginning, I am sorry. For your affairs, I have to accept all the punishments you have imposed on me. Even if you let me leave this house, you will never come back in this life. I have no way to refuse. It is my own fault. I should Bear the consequences, but the moment I chose to bear the consequences, I never thought that one day I would stay in this home safely, but what you did really made me feel cold.
Over the years, I have said to myself time and time again in my heart that no matter what, I have to go back and make up for my father and my son. Every single one of you broke my heart, you know
How much I am afraid of losing you, but you are afraid of losing me deep in your heart. In fact, it is like this. Maybe you think that I have not been by your side in these years anyway, and you have me as much as you without me. I don't have much, I don't have much, and sometimes I feel that I am in your eyes and I am in your eyes.
Think back to whether everything I did was right or wrong. I have only done it once for so many years. I have suppressed my sadness in my heart, and I have gained nothing.
Maybe I am nothing in your eyes now, I am just a heinous villain, I have no reason or qualification to ask for your forgiveness, you think everything I do is wrong .
Haven't you ever thought about what I did for everything, and what was the reason for me to do it? You never thought about what kind of reason I did for me. Never asked me either, kind of self-centered and put a death sentence on everything I do, you know
It's selfish of you to do that, time and time again you kill my chance to stay at home, time and time again you drive me out of the house, time and time again you have to leave home and wander outside alone, that kind of I feel like who can understand how hard I have lived, who has cared about who, who has thought about what I will get if I do that, I regard everything about myself as so important, what about the ending, are you how did you treat me"
"Now you tell me how we treat you, then how do you treat me? As a father, I have worked so hard to pull you up. Is it easy for me to grow up? Li's mother has not been by your side since you were born. She left you not long after the beginning of the day, do you think my heart doesn’t hurt? I understand how you love your wife, because I love your mother as much as I do. Over the years, how many days and nights have I been with your mother? Together, I held her in my arms and fell asleep when I was pulling her in my dreams. Do you know that I miss your mother a lot.
But in the end, I can only choose to face your mother, she will never come back to me no matter what, even if I do everything wrong, I just hope he can come back to me and scold me, criticize I give it a shot, but this is not a possibility, he will never come back, he has left me for decades, how much I have blamed myself, how much I have thought, he has me again and again I hide him deeply in my heart, because I know that no matter when and where, I have no reason, let alone any right to reject him. Everything he gave me is the greatest love, if I choose to leave, if I choose to treat everything as a kind of blasphemy to your mother, do you think I am still worthy of being your mother's husband, do I still deserve to live with him for those years
Don't you feel that you are actually much happier than me? You and your wife can live together for at least so many years, but your mother and I only have a few short years. Those years are in my life memory It was the happiest, most relaxed and happiest time, and I will never go back to that time anyway, do you know how much regret and pain I have in my heart?
He was my wife, died in my arms like this, and there was nothing I could do, I begged God, I begged earth, I only hoped that they would give him another year of life.
But at that time, I was crying every day, and the earth was not working. No one had experienced the despair I had at that time. How I wish she could come back to me. Is it possible? She will never be a The possible ending, I regard everything as the most important thing in my life, what do you take me for? I suffer so much again and again, who cares about you? Maybe you think you live now It is the most painful, because I gave you all this, but you have thought about it, your mother, who is lying alone in the cold ground, may have turned into a pile of bones, but we are still here It is also a kind of comfort for her to live here with laughter and laughter
As a human being, never compare yourself with others, whether it is selfish, because it is possible that everything you do is more selfish than others, do you know how envious I am when I see you and your wife are so loving, even if you are my son , I still envy you for having such a life, even if you are against me, I can still secretly look forward to it, and one day I can have such a life, but such a life, I have no chance to experience it again in my whole life Once, he never had a chance to come back to me. "
What you can't grasp and let go is often the most hurtful, because you don't know what you should do to make it what you want.