Chapter 42 "I Regret It"
Chapter 42 "I Regret It"
get out.
When these two words rubbed against his eardrums, Meng Yi even lost his ability to speak. He couldn't understand, couldn't figure it out, and couldn't believe it.
He stood there in a daze, his feet seemed to be nailed to the ground, and he watched the car window glass go up little by little. As Fu Juehan's face slowly disappeared, the flesh and blood from his whole body was picked off his bones little by little. Get down, pull it out of the body, and throw it on the ground like a pile of rotten meat that no one wants, as if no one has ever said to him to cherish it.
"Fu, Fu Juehan..." Meng Yi heard his own voice float out, but it was so soft that he couldn't hear it clearly, "You don't want me anymore..."
The people in the car did not respond to him, Gust drove away directly, Meng Yi patted the window with his hands, but his body was quickly scraped and fell to the ground.
He stared blankly at everything in front of him, and smiled suddenly.
"How is it possible...how is it possible...Fu Juehan won't want me...this must be an illusion, yes, I'm too tired, it's just an illusion... .Just go back, go back to sleep and nothing will happen..."
He got up from the ground, not daring to look at the car again, turned around and moved in the opposite direction like a walking corpse, but his vision became more and more blurred, his body hurt more and more, and things kept slipping off his face .
Meng Yi wiped it with his hands, and found that the tears were mixed with dust and blood, turning into a dirty and disgusting red.
"It's okay...it's okay, I just scratched my hand..."
Meng Yi smiled and talked to himself, trying to open his eyes wide, but the tears couldn't disperse, so he raised his hand to wipe it again, but the more he wiped his face, the more blood was on his face, and the salty tears stung his wound deeply It hurt, and the overwhelming smell of rust made him breathless.
"Why can't it be wiped off...why can't it be wiped off..." He cried and shook his head, wiped it with his sleeve, wiped it with his hem, and wiped it vigorously with a paper towel, "It must be wiped off immediately, Otherwise, Fu Juehan will be worried when he sees it, Fu Juehan will—”
The voice stopped abruptly, he looked at the blood bag in his hand, as if he suddenly woke up from a nightmare, "That's right... Where is Fu Juehan..."
There was a sharp rutting sound behind him, and Meng Yi suddenly turned his head, seeing that Gust was about to turn into the next intersection.
"Don't...don't go! Don't go, Fu Juehan!"
He screamed and rushed over, desperately chasing the car, all the blood in his body flowed back to his head due to the strenuous exercise, but the fear in his heart turned into a chill from the top of his head to the soles of his feet, the combination of cold and heat, the kind of almost suffocating drowning The feeling came to my heart again.
The nightmare from many years ago was firmly crowded in his mind, and he saw the dream of the night he lay in the pit again in a trance.
By the small river of Tao Yazhuo Lake, a small yellow car drove up, and the whole family walked up one by one, and then looked at him with cold faces in unison.The car was too high, and little Meng Yi couldn't get on it. He tried his best to raise his legs but couldn't step up the steps. He could only hold the car door and climb up desperately, but no matter how many times he climbed up, he would Was kicked down.
First it was Dad, then Meng Xiang, and finally brother Xiao Han who loved him the most, he dared not go up again.He knelt under the car and kowtowed to people, begging them to take him. He said that he could skip food, spend no money, and be a quiet puppy, but when he looked up again, everyone in the car disappeared. , only Tao Ya remained motionless, with her eyes closed and her face lifeless.
"Don't go...don't leave me...brother Xiaohan...don't want me..."
He cried heart-rendingly, chasing after desperately, his cheeks were flushed, the suffocating feeling of lack of oxygen made him pinch his throat hard, his eyes wet with tears could not even see whether the car in front was silver or not. yellow.
He fell to the ground several times, and his two bloody hands fell straight on the sharp stones, like blunt knives cutting flesh, and the pain was so painful that he almost lost consciousness.
After I don't know how many times I fell, a shadow suddenly fell in front of my blurry eyes. Fu Juehan knelt down and pulled him up, his eyes so indifferent as if he was looking at a troublesome stranger.
"Didn't I understand?"
Meng Yi shook his head, not daring to look into his eyes, his hand full of blood and gravel was tightly clenched on his arm, so strong that he seemed to be grabbing his own life.
"No...no, Fu Juehan, we can't break up..." He cried and panted, speaking incoherently, choking his neck and sobbing, as if he was about to die, "You said Love me forever in the future, you said that I can do whatever I want...Isn't that what you said, huh? Opportunity, don't want me..."
Fu Juehan looked at him for a while, then lowered his head to break his hand, "Meng Yi, that's it."
"Not only! I can't stop! I don't want to stop..." He grabbed Fu Juehan tightly, the stone in his hand hurt both of them, as if he was really desperate, but he didn't have any momentum .
"You can't break up with me, we've, we've done it, haven't we... We agreed to get married, have a honeymoon, adopt a baby and have a small family. These are what you said, you Promise me, you can't count your words, you can't, you can't—”
He cried and gasped, and suddenly there was a sharp pain in his abdomen, and his voice seemed to burst out from the crack in his chest: "You can't make me muster up all the courage to say love and then don't want me...you can't be here After I recognized you as Brother Xiaohan, I abandoned me again...you can't do this..."
Meng Yi's nails dug into his flesh, but the trembling lips could no longer make a sound, only a broken mouth shape remained: Please... I beg you, don't want me...
But the hands were still parted.
Affectionate people are the most unfeeling, Fu Juehan is most like Fu Ge in that they all have the strongest love and hate.
If a heart as hot as magma is cold, it will be irretrievable. Qi Han made a mistake once. He once lost his life and his best 20 years. Fu Ge can't get it back. Fu Ge looks at him as usual .
Some things have changed, they have changed, and no matter how you put them together, they will never return to their original appearance.
"You have to know that if you use 13% of your strength, there is nothing you can't mess up." Fu Juehan wiped away the blood and tears from the corners of his eyes, and there was no trace of love and affection in his words, "I have loved you for [-] years, the most painful and most painful The difficult days are all relying on thinking about you to survive, and thinking about it for many years has almost become an obsession, but Xiaobao, I don’t have the energy to love you anymore.”
Meng Yi kept shaking his head, his voice choked up: "You don't need to love me, I will love you, I will treat you well, I will not be coquettish, I will not lose my temper, I will not be self-willed, I will change if I don't lie to you or hide it from you. , I will really change...give me another chance, okay..."
"It doesn't count that way." Fu Juehan finally touched his face again, kissed his forehead and said: "It is best to always be obsessive, once it is recklessly realized, it will easily become unrecognizable. That's it, be good."
Meng Yi cried even harder, trembling all over, he burrowed into his arms, "Don't...please don't...don't do this to me..."
Fu Juehan closed his eyes deeply, he let out a breath, his palms trembled slightly around the man, and stuck to Meng Yi's ear and stabbed the knife that was most capable of forcing him back.
"Meng Qingshu always said that he regretted adopting you back then."
Meng Yi froze, two lines of water rolled out of his red and swollen eyes, he took a step back, as if he was about to be blown down by the wind.
"Don't...don't say it...I beg you..."
Fu Juehan turned around and stepped into the car, his fingertips dug deep into his palm, "I also regret meeting you again three months ago."
The blood bag fell to the ground and was cut open by a sharp stone.
Blood flowed out in pools, and a big hole was opened in Meng Yi's chest.
Gust really drove away, and the child was left where he was again. He knelt on the ground, covering the opening of the blood bag with his hands, desperately trying to keep the last bit of Fu Juehan's things, but in the end Finding that nothing belongs to me.
"You all regret it..." Meng Yi stared at the bright red under his palm, and couldn't help laughing, "But that was my best time..."
The first year after being adopted by the Meng family, and the three months after reuniting with Fu Juehan, were the happiest days in Meng Yi's 20-year gray life, a sweet dream that he tried his best to catch, but it was something that others In the mouth, there is only the word regret.
The severe pain in the abdomen hit again, and Meng Yi felt that someone had stabbed him. He suddenly bent down and spit out a big mouthful of blood, and then fell to the ground, completely falling into endless darkness.
The author says:
Harm, my baby ah_
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